Ultimate Wedding Disasters part I

August 1, 2008 bride0909
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Planning a wedding can be super stressful. I’ve found that one of the best remedies to deal with stress is to laugh like a crazy woman and deal with the problems as they come.

Here are 5 embarrassing/horrorific/silly stories from brides across the U.S. about how much can go wrong at a wedding. When the going gets tough with your wedding planning, just relax, and be happy that at least this didn’t happen to you!

1. Mary McPhail, a 47-year-old online retailer from Bexley, Ohio, will never forget her wedding to husband and business partner Geord Douglas 23 years ago in Miami.

“We had our rehearsal dinner at the restaurant where my husband and I met, and as a surprise gift, they gave us this big, beautiful tray of stone crabs,” says McPhail.

“The next day, I had a very upset stomach but just attributed it to nerves.”

It wasn’t nerves. It was the shellfish. As the hour-long ceremony wore on, McPhail grew dizzy and eventually had to clamp a hand over her mouth to keep from throwing up all over the altar. Recognizing her predicament, the priest hastily pronounced the couple husband and wife and shoved them down the aisle.

“We got to the back of the church and I just lost it all over my gown,” says McPhail. “It was a really small wedding, and everybody knew. I was mortified, but it was the highlight of everyone’s day.”

2. “It was my best college friend’s wedding. I was the bridesmaid in my best Laura Ashley (never wearing this darn thing again!) bridesmaid dress, with dyed hot pink satin high heels. During rehearsal, I had pondered the chances of my heels getting stuck between the slate walkway of the public outdoor garden that the wedding was to be held in…but then I let that concern carelessly drift away.

Fast forward to the next day….as the music starts, the best man takes my arm and we proceed down the path past friends, family, and acquaintances….until I took a step and my shoe didn’t come with me. Looking back, there it was, heel in the mud wedged between the slates. What to do? What to do? Keep walking like nothing happened and have the bride trip over my shoe or interrupt the flow of the processional and go get my shoe…? I decided to go get my shoe. Okay, great. Finally up at the alter. Whew! The pastor is saying his remarks while I look at a butterfly on a nearby flower. Then I feel eyes on me. I look up to notice everyone stopped and looking at me. Where are the rings? Oh, was I responsible for them? Geez, um, well, I never saw them! They must be back at the apartment? So the pastor pulls his own ring off and offers it to the groom for his bride’s finger.

Right at that moment, the groom’s mother bursts into loud sobbing tears, because she hated the bride and was conflicted as to her son’s ability to have “done better.” Then, as we’re all trying to pretend like she isn’t wailing up a storm, we hear Click, Click, Click…a lot of times…

…While we had been distracted by the mother-in-law’s sobbing, a charter bus of Japanese tourists had pulled up and unloaded into the garden. They didn’t realize they were interrupting a wedding, and we couldn’t explain the situation to them due to the language barrier. After a myriad of mistakes, we just all started laughing hysterically, because there was nothing else to do. We all have funny memories of that wedding…and I still have an ugly pink and purple floral bridesmaid dress if anyone needs fabric for curtains???”

3. “Last summer one of my sorority sisters got married and I was a bridesmaid. Now she is a girl who cannot handle stress so when lots of little things went wrong she freaked out. Let’s begin…well during the wedding the Pastor cell phone went off in his pocket and took it out while speaking to turn it off, then when she was doing he vows with her husband, her dress fell into these baptism ponds (which after the wedding she immediately began crying about it), then we found out that almost none of the wedding was video taped b/c the battery died b/c no one charged it, then once we got to the reception, the husband’s wedding band fell off b/c it was sized too big, and he couldn’t find it, no one told my friend though or she would have just died, then he found it, it had fallen in the cuff of his pants, then they were going to have a slide show presentation and the disc was left in the camera bag, which was left in the church, then the DJ started the music before the bride and groom could have their first dance, and yeah lots of little things that just turned into big problems. oy vey haha”

4. “Where do I start? My photographer called me two days before the wedding to let me know that he would not be there, I was able to find a replacement in fact two replacements. In my invitations I had rsvp cards  “reply only if not attending”, of the 130+ people that were invited about 30 showed up. Many had to work or were out of town (my mistake for having my wedding date so close to Memorial Day) The church had a wedding planner who took over my wedding and changed many things and added music I didn’t approve of (her playing made my wedding sound more like a funeral than a wedding) The minister during our unity candle ceremony signaled for the music to stop right in the middle of the song that was playing which on the wedding video makes it sound odd you think why did the music stop abruptly? Then when the pictures were taken after the ceremony his evil mother gave my grandmother the finger just because my grandmother thought she was my husband’s grandmother. She looks very bad for her age so it is understandable why my grandmother thought this. Then in the reception my husband’s far removed cousin kept stepping in front of my photographers and she gave them the finger. She didn’t even have permission to take the photos in the first place. She hardly knows my husband so Im thinking she was trying to have our wedding take the place of her son’s whom she wasn’t invited to (after meeting her I know why) The hotel lost our reservations so we had to stay at Best western.”

5. “The reception was also lovely- at first. We had these really beautiful butter cream cakes that a friend of mine offered to make. Really pretty. And chocked full of poison. One or two of the cakes that were at our table had apparently sat out too long or something. We all got food poisoning. It started at 8 in the evening with my husband. I didn’t realize he had disappeared for awhile and finally I was like “Where’s Silvio at?” and somebody was like, “Oh, he’s throwing up in the parking lot.”

A little while later it hit my mom and my grandma. My dad. My grandpa. My gay ex-boyfriend, Daniel. And then at about 2 in the morning it hit me. I just got back up to the hotel room, got my wedding dress off- and spent the next several hours sitting on the bathroom floor, in my sexy undies, with my head hanging over the toilet. I have never thrown up so violently in my entire life. ”

Have your own Wedding Disaster Story to share? I’d love to hear it!

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Entry Filed under: Funny

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Greg du Pille  |  January 13, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    Yep, I’d like to share my wedding disaster story with you … although it’s a bit long to cut and paste here. Please see http://warzytopia.blogspot.com/2009/01/how-not-to-run-wedding.html for the full gruesome mess. I am an older and wiser man now!

  • 2. Michael Johnson  |  July 6, 2010 at 11:29 am

    My sister was getting married. I was in college, some 300 miles away, but I was determined to see the weekend ceremony before going back to campus and finals week. I landed at the airport, and was miffed that nobody was there to greet me. I called my mother and said “Where is everybody. I’m at the airport.”
    Her response: “The wedding isn’t until next week.”


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