Posts tagged ‘Funny ‘




Wedding Disasters Part 2

Ok all of you Fall & Winter Brides- Time to take a breather from your totally frantic, down to the wire planning!

Read on for some crazy, silly, and down right bizarre wedding stories as my Wedding Disaster Series continues!

Fall & Winter Weddings are just around the corner- You deserve at least 10 minutes to give yourself a stress- free laugh!

 

“At a recent wedding which I was attending, which was in full swing, the father of the bride was out on the dance floor slightly drunk and dancing like a madman when he discovered that his wallet had fallen out of his jacket which contained a large amount of money ($2000 )to pay for the catering and a cheque for his daughter and son in law.

 
A frantic search by everyone failed to find the wallet which distressed the father and family. At the end of the night everybody put in some money to pay for the reception and the wedding party left for their honeymoon a little depressed and sad that someone had stolen the wallet which could have been any of there friends.

The next day the cleaners found the wallet under some rubbish in the fake pot plant with all the money missing.

Two weeks later on the return of the couple from there honeymoon they went to their parents house to watch the wedding video with all their family. It was when they were watching the video part of the reception that the daughter picked up the fact that the wallet was lying on the edge of the dance floor and someone had picked it up and had moved to the side and was removing the money then hiding it under the plant.

It was then, when on closer inspection that the person who had stolen the money was no other than the GROOM.

THIS WAS A VERY SHORT WEDDING”

 

“When I was 25, my best friend’s wedding was a fiasco. Her brother-in-law tried to french kiss me in front of my husband who had a fit and threatened to use his military training to do major damage.

The bride and groom waltzed across the dance floor gracefully, until he dipped her deeply and promptly dropped her. Afterward, the groom got drunk and urinated in a potted plant on the edge of the dance floor and his pants fell around his ankles. Afterward, everyone had a blast telling the bride of his insufficiencies.

The mother of the bride spent hours before the ceremony wrapping rice in lace so all one had to do was untie the ribbon and throw the rice. Many people chose to throw little rice missiles at the couple, giving the bride a black eye. She fell against the groom when hit with the rice, pushed him down the steps of the hotel and he broke his leg. They spent their wedding night in the hospital and their dream trip, a honeymoon in Hawaii, was cancelled.” – Tianna

“I was at my hair dresser one Saturday, and he was telling me about a wedding he chose not to go to that day.  Of course I asked why he was not going.  His reply was that Bride and Groom did not want presents.  I could not imagine why he would not want to go since I was thinking, wow a B & G that just wanted the company of their family and friends.  I asked him if they let people know where donations could be made in their name.  He laughed and asked me what planet I was from.  Puzzled, I looked at him with raised eyebrows.

He told me that the invitation, had a disclaimer at the bottom of it.  I told him that I did not believe him and no one was that tacky.  Well, of course he left me with my hair standing on the top of my head and went into his office.  Out came a beautiful invitation, beautiful paper, beautiful handwriting.  The envelopes outer and inner addressed properly.

When I read the invite, proper wording in the body, at the bottom on the right hand side were the words, “The favor of your gift is declined, only monetary gifts accepted.”  I swear on my favorite cat’s grave, I saw this with my own eyes.  Well, I never found out what happened at the wedding.  I don’t think they ever spoke to my hairdresser again… but then again who cares. Who wants tacky, thoughtless, greedy people in their lives.” 

“My sister’s husband is a very attractive and has a very magnetic personality. His brother has not been blessed with the same characteristics. He started to say what a lucky guy the groom was having such a pretty wife. (a pretty standard thing for anyone to say to the groom at a wedding) He continued on slurring that he was never that lucky “Robert” always got all the pretty girls when they were growing up.
“Robert” was always the one who got invited to parties, had tons of chicks hanging around and always was the one who got laid. He kept whining that even the parents liked “Robert” better and that “Robert had more friends and more toys when they were little”.

The best man went on like that for a good ten minutes until he started crying and I took the microphone from his hand and another guest lead him outside to calm him down. The whole room was silent. It was very a very uncomfortable situation for everyone. I felt really sorry for the bride and groom and I could see my sister looking at the groom sideways thinking ” always got laid?” I’m sure she interrogated him later but I never asked”

“At my bridal shower , my mother insisted I invite my “eccentric ” aunt who never fails to embarrass me. This shower was given by my soon-to-be in-laws and I didn’t want a scene. Well, “Aunt Theresa” (thinking this was a compliment) kept repeatedly telling the hostess how much she resembled Julia Child until she was in tears. As a shower gift, Auntie presented me a pink plastic heart-shaped potato-masher and a worn-out rollingpin with “Spare the rod and spoil the child” written with blank ink all over it. AHHHHH!!!!!!”

 

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Add a comment September 3, 2008

Ultimate Wedding Disasters part I

Planning a wedding can be super stressful. I’ve found that one of the best remedies to deal with stress is to laugh like a crazy woman and deal with the problems as they come.

Here are 5 embarrassing/horrorific/silly stories from brides across the U.S. about how much can go wrong at a wedding. When the going gets tough with your wedding planning, just relax, and be happy that at least this didn’t happen to you!

1. Mary McPhail, a 47-year-old online retailer from Bexley, Ohio, will never forget her wedding to husband and business partner Geord Douglas 23 years ago in Miami.

“We had our rehearsal dinner at the restaurant where my husband and I met, and as a surprise gift, they gave us this big, beautiful tray of stone crabs,” says McPhail.

“The next day, I had a very upset stomach but just attributed it to nerves.”

It wasn’t nerves. It was the shellfish. As the hour-long ceremony wore on, McPhail grew dizzy and eventually had to clamp a hand over her mouth to keep from throwing up all over the altar. Recognizing her predicament, the priest hastily pronounced the couple husband and wife and shoved them down the aisle.

“We got to the back of the church and I just lost it all over my gown,” says McPhail. “It was a really small wedding, and everybody knew. I was mortified, but it was the highlight of everyone’s day.”

2. “It was my best college friend’s wedding. I was the bridesmaid in my best Laura Ashley (never wearing this darn thing again!) bridesmaid dress, with dyed hot pink satin high heels. During rehearsal, I had pondered the chances of my heels getting stuck between the slate walkway of the public outdoor garden that the wedding was to be held in…but then I let that concern carelessly drift away.

Fast forward to the next day….as the music starts, the best man takes my arm and we proceed down the path past friends, family, and acquaintances….until I took a step and my shoe didn’t come with me. Looking back, there it was, heel in the mud wedged between the slates. What to do? What to do? Keep walking like nothing happened and have the bride trip over my shoe or interrupt the flow of the processional and go get my shoe…? I decided to go get my shoe. Okay, great. Finally up at the alter. Whew! The pastor is saying his remarks while I look at a butterfly on a nearby flower. Then I feel eyes on me. I look up to notice everyone stopped and looking at me. Where are the rings? Oh, was I responsible for them? Geez, um, well, I never saw them! They must be back at the apartment? So the pastor pulls his own ring off and offers it to the groom for his bride’s finger.

Right at that moment, the groom’s mother bursts into loud sobbing tears, because she hated the bride and was conflicted as to her son’s ability to have “done better.” Then, as we’re all trying to pretend like she isn’t wailing up a storm, we hear Click, Click, Click…a lot of times…

…While we had been distracted by the mother-in-law’s sobbing, a charter bus of Japanese tourists had pulled up and unloaded into the garden. They didn’t realize they were interrupting a wedding, and we couldn’t explain the situation to them due to the language barrier. After a myriad of mistakes, we just all started laughing hysterically, because there was nothing else to do. We all have funny memories of that wedding…and I still have an ugly pink and purple floral bridesmaid dress if anyone needs fabric for curtains???”

3. “Last summer one of my sorority sisters got married and I was a bridesmaid. Now she is a girl who cannot handle stress so when lots of little things went wrong she freaked out. Let’s begin…well during the wedding the Pastor cell phone went off in his pocket and took it out while speaking to turn it off, then when she was doing he vows with her husband, her dress fell into these baptism ponds (which after the wedding she immediately began crying about it), then we found out that almost none of the wedding was video taped b/c the battery died b/c no one charged it, then once we got to the reception, the husband’s wedding band fell off b/c it was sized too big, and he couldn’t find it, no one told my friend though or she would have just died, then he found it, it had fallen in the cuff of his pants, then they were going to have a slide show presentation and the disc was left in the camera bag, which was left in the church, then the DJ started the music before the bride and groom could have their first dance, and yeah lots of little things that just turned into big problems. oy vey haha”

4. “Where do I start? My photographer called me two days before the wedding to let me know that he would not be there, I was able to find a replacement in fact two replacements. In my invitations I had rsvp cards  “reply only if not attending”, of the 130+ people that were invited about 30 showed up. Many had to work or were out of town (my mistake for having my wedding date so close to Memorial Day) The church had a wedding planner who took over my wedding and changed many things and added music I didn’t approve of (her playing made my wedding sound more like a funeral than a wedding) The minister during our unity candle ceremony signaled for the music to stop right in the middle of the song that was playing which on the wedding video makes it sound odd you think why did the music stop abruptly? Then when the pictures were taken after the ceremony his evil mother gave my grandmother the finger just because my grandmother thought she was my husband’s grandmother. She looks very bad for her age so it is understandable why my grandmother thought this. Then in the reception my husband’s far removed cousin kept stepping in front of my photographers and she gave them the finger. She didn’t even have permission to take the photos in the first place. She hardly knows my husband so Im thinking she was trying to have our wedding take the place of her son’s whom she wasn’t invited to (after meeting her I know why) The hotel lost our reservations so we had to stay at Best western.”

5. “The reception was also lovely- at first. We had these really beautiful butter cream cakes that a friend of mine offered to make. Really pretty. And chocked full of poison. One or two of the cakes that were at our table had apparently sat out too long or something. We all got food poisoning. It started at 8 in the evening with my husband. I didn’t realize he had disappeared for awhile and finally I was like “Where’s Silvio at?” and somebody was like, “Oh, he’s throwing up in the parking lot.”

A little while later it hit my mom and my grandma. My dad. My grandpa. My gay ex-boyfriend, Daniel. And then at about 2 in the morning it hit me. I just got back up to the hotel room, got my wedding dress off- and spent the next several hours sitting on the bathroom floor, in my sexy undies, with my head hanging over the toilet. I have never thrown up so violently in my entire life. ”

Have your own Wedding Disaster Story to share? I’d love to hear it!

2 comments August 1, 2008

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